While at work today I happened to see a woman's t-shirt. It had a picture of hands holding baby feet and under that I read what I thought said: "Your dreams are in God's hands." In my bitter state this shirt kind of upset me. I guess I didn't want to hear that I have absolutely no control over my dream of becoming a mother. As I thought about it a little more I realized that my dream being in God's hands is a good thing. After all, who is more capable and trustworthy than he is. I don't know why my initial reaction was so negative. God means a lot to me and he has gotten me through a lot. I guess I just need to trust in him more and rely on his strength to get me through this difficult time. I trust that God's plans for me are so much better than my own plans ever could be. I just hope that his plans include me being able to have kids. It just hurts that I'm pretty sure he has already told me they don't. Is it wrong of me to hold out hope or should I work on coming to terms with this fact?
On a lighter note: The funny thing about me thinking about of all this stuff is that it started with me misreading a shirt. I saw the woman walk by me a little later and her shirt actually said: "Your dreams are in good hands." It was a shirt for Kaiser Permanente (a health insurance company here in California).
6 comments:
Julie I totally know how you feel. In fact your comments about wanting to be a mother are so similar to my feelings about being married and being a mother.
Keep the faith
I think I'd have more faith in God than an ins company.
We have to work in harmony with what we ask God for. For example, if you ask for His help to find a job, then stay home & sit on your butt all day, he's not just going to drop it in your lap. I think one of the biggest helps we have in faith is the strength that He can give us to keep going. (not sure if that makes sense)
On a totally diff note, have you seen the "fight like a girl" shirts? (breast cancer) I think those are so cool!
Julie. I so understand what you are going through. Like with that shirt thing, sometimes I see things too. But thats not what they really are. I am sorry that, that day didn't go so well. I hope it got better for you.
Hey! We sure miss you guys!
It's funny how sometimes little things just set us off.
And I don't think you should give up on God's plans just yet..
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