Three Years

May 27th was our 3 year wedding anniversary. This day always means a lot to me for a couple reasons. First is the obvious reason: It was the day I married my wonderful husband. I am so grateful to have him in my life. He makes me so much better of a person by encouraging me to do my best. He also makes me laugh (even when I'm trying to be mad at him and I try not to laugh).

The second reason is that after we chose this date I found out it is my grandpa's birthday. He died before I was born, but I have always felt a connection to him that I can't explain. When I found out that our wedding was going to be on his birthday it seemed like the perfect choice.

I can't believe it has already been 3 years. I still feel like a newlywed in some ways. In other ways it feels like I have been married to Soren for a long time because he has become such a part of me that I can't imagine my life without him.

Here are a few of my favorite pictures from our wedding day:

I think of this as the classic fairy tale kiss.

Here is our delicious cake. It is by far the best wedding cake I have ever had. Usually they look good, but taste terrible. This one was great inside and out!

Soren and my brother Jeremy being goofy. I think Jeremy looks like he is trying to model underwear.

I love the glow this picture has. This is actually the reason why I chose of photographer. I instantly feel in love with the back lighting I saw in other pictures he had taken. Also, I think this picture is just downright cute with our noses touching and us smiling.

The first picture of us as a married couple.

A picture of my best friend, Megan, and me.

Your Dreams are in God's Hands

While at work today I happened to see a woman's t-shirt. It had a picture of hands holding baby feet and under that I read what I thought said: "Your dreams are in God's hands." In my bitter state this shirt kind of upset me. I guess I didn't want to hear that I have absolutely no control over my dream of becoming a mother. As I thought about it a little more I realized that my dream being in God's hands is a good thing. After all, who is more capable and trustworthy than he is. I don't know why my initial reaction was so negative. God means a lot to me and he has gotten me through a lot. I guess I just need to trust in him more and rely on his strength to get me through this difficult time. I trust that God's plans for me are so much better than my own plans ever could be. I just hope that his plans include me being able to have kids. It just hurts that I'm pretty sure he has already told me they don't. Is it wrong of me to hold out hope or should I work on coming to terms with this fact?

On a lighter note: The funny thing about me thinking about of all this stuff is that it started with me misreading a shirt. I saw the woman walk by me a little later and her shirt actually said: "Your dreams are in good hands." It was a shirt for Kaiser Permanente (a health insurance company here in California).

I'm back

I've actually been around pretty much the whole time. I just didn't know what to write about. The wedding was great. Megan and I made the trek to Utah with her 11 month old son and he was surprisingly good. He actually slept most of the trip (and we didn't drug him).

It was great seeing Misty. See looked absolutely beautiful and so happy. I'm so glad she found a great guy to marry. They are living in Las Vegas now so I will have to use that as a reason to go to Vegas. I've never been there and never really had any great desire to visit it but Misty is a good reason.

Megan and I were both glad to get home. Her son Henry was starting to get cranky about not sleeping in his own crib. The last night he actually couldn't sleep. I feel so sorry for the little guy. You could tell he was trying to get comfortable but he couldn't. I ended up only sleeping for an hour before I brought him to bed with me and I was up until we left at 2 in the morning (we wanted him to sleep as much of the car ride as possible.) Then I drove for the first 5 hours of the trip. I don't how I did it but I seemed to have to enough energy. Then I totally crashed when Megan started driving.

I'm glad we went, but Megan and I decided that in the future we would either leave Henry home or bring our hubbies to help out.