About a week ago I re-commited to losing weight. This last week I have done pretty well for the most part. The scale doesn't show any difference yet, but I'm working on it. I just got some extra motivation today. Misty is starting a weight loss group.
We will be starting this Thursday, July 1st and going until Oct 1st. Not only will it be great to have some people to keep me accountable, but we are also going to have ourselves a little competition to see who can lose the highest percentage of weight. I'm always up for a little competition so this should be fun.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Some Bad News
About a week and a half ago Soren had his semen analysis done. I'm sure it's not surprising, but I couldn't wait for the results to come back. Well, there is some good news and some bad news. Here are some of the things that were good about the results: the count and morphology (shape of the sperm). The bad news: 85% of his little soldiers weren't going anywhere. Not sure if they were dead or just not moving. Probably doesn't matter cause they aren't going to be fertilizing anything anytime soon.
I called the fertility clinic and after playing a bit of phone tag I actually talked to a nurse. She didn't seem to be worried about the poor test results. She said they would like him to do one more test because there are all kinds of factors that could have affected the test like how it was transported. I told her I wasn't sure how he transported it because I wasn't with him. Come to find out he put it in one of the herbal heat packs we have "to keep it warm". Yeah, I think it was way too hot and that might have killed his little soldiers. This time Soren wants me to see if there is a room at the lab where he can collect the sample. Hopefully the results this next time will be much better.
Another thing I found out is that they are worried about my blood sugar levels. They just told me (after 4 months I might add) that they won't let me start treatment until they are lower. The nurse was kind of vague, but told me they were refering me to another department and that I couldn't start treatment until they released me.
I just spoke with someone today from this new mysterious department and she said they want me to attend a class on how to manage my blood sugar. My jaw just about dropped when she said I would have to pick up testing supplies from the pharmacy before the class. They had me a freaking out about diabetes.
I had a few fasting glucose tests and they were on the higher side of normal so I guess they are worried about the possibility of gestational diabetes. They say they want to make sure that I'm healthy so that I can have the best possibly pregnancy. I appreciate them looking out for me, but couldn't they have mentioned this before so that I had 4 months to work on it.
So, in two weeks I go to this class that I was informed will be filled with pregnant women who have to bring down their blood sugar levels. I'm so excited if you couldn't guess. Then for two weeks I have to keep a food diary (no big deal since I already do that) and track my blood sugar. If everything looks good after that I will be released for infertility treament.
Today was kind of a wake up call for me that I need to really bring my weight down. I have known this fact for quite a while now, but haven't done anything about it. Last summer I lost almost 20 pounds, but just recently I gained 10 back. I going to really get my butt in gear to become healthier. Well, it's time for me to go exercise since sitting here on my butt isn't helping me lose weight.
I called the fertility clinic and after playing a bit of phone tag I actually talked to a nurse. She didn't seem to be worried about the poor test results. She said they would like him to do one more test because there are all kinds of factors that could have affected the test like how it was transported. I told her I wasn't sure how he transported it because I wasn't with him. Come to find out he put it in one of the herbal heat packs we have "to keep it warm". Yeah, I think it was way too hot and that might have killed his little soldiers. This time Soren wants me to see if there is a room at the lab where he can collect the sample. Hopefully the results this next time will be much better.
Another thing I found out is that they are worried about my blood sugar levels. They just told me (after 4 months I might add) that they won't let me start treatment until they are lower. The nurse was kind of vague, but told me they were refering me to another department and that I couldn't start treatment until they released me.
I just spoke with someone today from this new mysterious department and she said they want me to attend a class on how to manage my blood sugar. My jaw just about dropped when she said I would have to pick up testing supplies from the pharmacy before the class. They had me a freaking out about diabetes.
I had a few fasting glucose tests and they were on the higher side of normal so I guess they are worried about the possibility of gestational diabetes. They say they want to make sure that I'm healthy so that I can have the best possibly pregnancy. I appreciate them looking out for me, but couldn't they have mentioned this before so that I had 4 months to work on it.
So, in two weeks I go to this class that I was informed will be filled with pregnant women who have to bring down their blood sugar levels. I'm so excited if you couldn't guess. Then for two weeks I have to keep a food diary (no big deal since I already do that) and track my blood sugar. If everything looks good after that I will be released for infertility treament.
Today was kind of a wake up call for me that I need to really bring my weight down. I have known this fact for quite a while now, but haven't done anything about it. Last summer I lost almost 20 pounds, but just recently I gained 10 back. I going to really get my butt in gear to become healthier. Well, it's time for me to go exercise since sitting here on my butt isn't helping me lose weight.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Learning to Be Content
So here I am again feeling heart broken about not being pregnant. After beating myself up last month for getting my hopes up I let myself go there again this month. I had what couldn't be considered a period. It was just 2 days of spotting and so stupid me thought it could possibly be implantation bleeding. So, after driving myself nuts most of the day yesterday I took a pregnancy test. Big fat "NO" was the resulted. I was a little bummed, but fine until late last night when I completely lost it and started crying. I had so many emotions last night: from sadness to anger, then to feeling guilty about being angry.
I felt so emotionally raw and drained this morning. During the moments that I had to think about all of this craziness I started to think about being content. I wish I could just could be content with what I already have and sometimes I am. About a week ago I can remember laying in bed reading and thinking that I love my life. There are so many good things that I am blessed with. I think that as humans we naturally want what we don't have. It goes back to the saying that "the grass is always greener on the other side."
Somehow we trick ourselves into believing that we will be happy when this happens or when we accomplish that. When we are single we just know that when we are in a relationship or married that we will be happy. Then after we are married we decide that we will be happy when we have kids. After several sleep deprived days, weeks and years happiness is somewhere in the future when the kids move out and we can just be a couple again. And on and on it goes. We are never happy because we are so busy looking toward the future to appreciate all we do have.
As I often try to do when I need comfort I found myself turning to the word of the Lord. There are a few scriptures that really touched me that speak of being content with what is allotted us. In Alma 29:3 & 6 it says "I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted me ... why should I desire more than to perform the work to which I have been called?" It is a righteous desire to be a mother, but maybe it isn't in store for me. I need to learn to be content with God's plan for me.
According to the dictionary to be content means "happy enough with what one has or is; not desiring something more or different; satisfied" The part of this that hits me the most is "happy enough with what one has or is." I need to be happy with both what I have AND who I am.
What I have is: a great family and set of friends, a good job, a knowledge that this life has a purpose, etc.
Who I am is: A fun spunky little blond girl who has always been known for her sunny personality. I am fiercely protective of and loyal to those I care about. I am intellegent. These are some of my good qualities I have many more and I also have plenty of negative characteristics, but that isn't what is important.
Being content doesn't mean that I will stop striving for more. I will always want to be better than I now am and I still will try to increase the size of my family. Being content simply means that I won't make room for self pity.
I know that my search for contentment won't be easy and will have it's periods of improvement and most likely backsliding, but I'm going to stick with it. I plan to be an old lady one day who sits on her front porch swing and looks out on the world with a smile on her face. I will look back at my life and know that I was a force for good. This will be the case whether I am ever a mother or not!
I felt so emotionally raw and drained this morning. During the moments that I had to think about all of this craziness I started to think about being content. I wish I could just could be content with what I already have and sometimes I am. About a week ago I can remember laying in bed reading and thinking that I love my life. There are so many good things that I am blessed with. I think that as humans we naturally want what we don't have. It goes back to the saying that "the grass is always greener on the other side."
Somehow we trick ourselves into believing that we will be happy when this happens or when we accomplish that. When we are single we just know that when we are in a relationship or married that we will be happy. Then after we are married we decide that we will be happy when we have kids. After several sleep deprived days, weeks and years happiness is somewhere in the future when the kids move out and we can just be a couple again. And on and on it goes. We are never happy because we are so busy looking toward the future to appreciate all we do have.
As I often try to do when I need comfort I found myself turning to the word of the Lord. There are a few scriptures that really touched me that speak of being content with what is allotted us. In Alma 29:3 & 6 it says "I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted me ... why should I desire more than to perform the work to which I have been called?" It is a righteous desire to be a mother, but maybe it isn't in store for me. I need to learn to be content with God's plan for me.
According to the dictionary to be content means "happy enough with what one has or is; not desiring something more or different; satisfied" The part of this that hits me the most is "happy enough with what one has or is." I need to be happy with both what I have AND who I am.
What I have is: a great family and set of friends, a good job, a knowledge that this life has a purpose, etc.
Who I am is: A fun spunky little blond girl who has always been known for her sunny personality. I am fiercely protective of and loyal to those I care about. I am intellegent. These are some of my good qualities I have many more and I also have plenty of negative characteristics, but that isn't what is important.
Being content doesn't mean that I will stop striving for more. I will always want to be better than I now am and I still will try to increase the size of my family. Being content simply means that I won't make room for self pity.
I know that my search for contentment won't be easy and will have it's periods of improvement and most likely backsliding, but I'm going to stick with it. I plan to be an old lady one day who sits on her front porch swing and looks out on the world with a smile on her face. I will look back at my life and know that I was a force for good. This will be the case whether I am ever a mother or not!
Friday, June 4, 2010
Wonderful Anniversary
On May 27th Soren and I had our four year anniversary of getting married. We weren't able to celebrate that day because Soren worked that night, so we celebrated the next day. It was a great night.
We went to Old Sacramento and it happened to be the weekend the were having the Jazz Festival. It was fun walking around by the river and listening to the music. We also found a new restaurant called D'oro. It is located in a courtyard. The food was good and the atmosphere was wonderful. I had one of the best gourmet sandwiches I have ever had. It was also very affordable. We got out of there for just over $20. We will definitley be going back.
Afterwards we saw the movie Prince of Persia. I really enjoyed it.
The night gave us some much needed time together. Our work schedules are so different that sometimes we can get feeling disconnected from each other. I'm grateful for times that we can spend together.
We went to Old Sacramento and it happened to be the weekend the were having the Jazz Festival. It was fun walking around by the river and listening to the music. We also found a new restaurant called D'oro. It is located in a courtyard. The food was good and the atmosphere was wonderful. I had one of the best gourmet sandwiches I have ever had. It was also very affordable. We got out of there for just over $20. We will definitley be going back.
Afterwards we saw the movie Prince of Persia. I really enjoyed it.
The night gave us some much needed time together. Our work schedules are so different that sometimes we can get feeling disconnected from each other. I'm grateful for times that we can spend together.
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