I thought some of you might like to read the eulogy I gave at my grandma's funeral. Here it is! I'll warn you, it's long.
Sarah Mildred was born on December 29, 1918 to James and Hannah Pennock. She was the sixth of eight children. She grew up in Salt Lake City, UT. To her friends she was known as Mildred. Her grandkids always called her Mimi.
She lived a good long life and saw many different decades. She was born right after the First World War. Her teenage years were lived during the Great Depression. I remember her telling me stories of how she cut the skin on her hand between her thumb and pointer finger as a girl and they couldn’t afford to take her to a doctor. That thumb stopped growing and I would sometimes have her hold her thumbs next to one another because I thought it was interesting that one was so noticeably shorter than the other. She also told me that when she was graduating from high school they were barely able to afford her cap and gown.
Luckily she didn’t have to live through such poor times during the rest of her life. The forties showed her to be an independent woman and someone that had a real zest for life. She moved away from home and went to the big city of San Francisco to live with her sister and brother-in-law. Shortly thereafter her actions lead her to spending some time on Alcatraz. After doing her time on the island she worked for Southern Pacific Railroad. It was also there that she met the man who would become her husband, Manring Malmstrom (Larry to all those that knew him). It wasn’t quite love at first sight. A mutual friend of theirs thought they would be perfect for each other. The first time they met she was called home early from a party because he had come over to see her. She didn’t realize that he was there to see her and was upset that she had been called home to spend time with some guy that was visiting her sister. After he left she was told that he had come over specifically to see her. She hadn’t been very friendly to him and felt pretty bad that she hadn’t behaved better. He obviously forgave her because on June 23, 1947 they were married in the Logan Temple.
They both lived through the Great Depression so you would think that they would both be frugal people. My grandpa was very frugal, but my grandma would have been a big spender if she was allowed to be. Their first Christmas together showed that they didn’t see eye to eye on finances. For her first Christmas present he gave her two things. He had her watch cleaned and gave her a broom with the phone bills and a note that said: “This year let’s make a clean sweep of the bills.” She had been calling her sisters a lot and ran up the phone bill. He was much more generous the night year and gave her a son for Christmas. Richard Jay Malmstrom was born on December 22nd, just in time for Christmas. He would have continued to give kids as Christmas presents, but my Aunt Joyce was born in June so that didn’t fly.
To hear her tell it you would think that she was never allowed to spend money on anything. However, she never went without anything she needed and her husband Larry made sure that his family was always taken care of.
She loved her children and did everything she could to take care of them. I remember her telling me with pride that she had her babies sleep on their back years before that became common knowledge. As much as she loved her kids she decided she needed to get out of the house every once in a while. When they were older she started working at JC Penny’s.
She was deeply devoted to her husband. He was diagnosed with cancer and she took care of him till the end of his life. There were many people that told her that she should just put him in a convalescent home when his health started getting really bad, but she insisted that no one could take better care of him than she could. After he died she had no desire to date anyone else. Her grandchildren became her life until she could be reunited with him.
If you ask anyone of her grandkids they will probably tell you they were her favorite. Fortunately, I’m standing up here so I can set the record straight. I was her favorite. Seriously though, she made each one of us feel like we were the only person in the world that mattered whenever we spent time with her.
She was always very loving and generous with all of us. She would always have a kiss and hug for you and she always brought some kind of treat whenever she came over. You were never allowed to leave until you gave her a love, which was her word for a kiss.
She would do anything for her family. When I was thirteen she moved from Woodland to Sacramento to help my dad and me. At that time I didn’t realize what a great sacrifice it was for her to leave a town with people she had known for forty years. She did it without complaint. Another example of this is when my cousin Kami dislocated her knee a few months before her wedding she had her stay with us for a few weeks to make sure she was taken care of.
I know that you may think that my grandma sounds like a saint at this point, but she had her weak points. She was one of the most stubborn women I have ever known. Being a passenger in a car with her was one of the most frustrating experiences you could ever have in your life. I can’t count the number of times that she would miss a turn when we were going somewhere and instead of just turning around she would take some long and out of the way route to get back to wherever we were going. I think my protestations that she should just make a u-turn strengthened her resolve to do it her own way.
Another weak point was that she hopelessly addicted to Coca-Cola. She was hardly ever seen without a glass of Coke nearby. She would even have Coke with her in the car. I remember when I was little I was taught that it was against the law to drink and drive. It took me a while to bring up the courage to tell her, but one time I told her that she was breaking the law. She had no clue what I was talking about and so I said: “Mimi, you aren’t supposed to drink and drive” and I pointed at her glass of coke. I could tell she was trying not to laugh as she told me what that law really meant.
I won’t claim that my grandma was a world class chef or anything, but I think she was a really good cook. I loved so many of the things she would make. They were all what you would consider comfort food. She had so many things all of the family loved that she made. Yorkshire puddings, banana bread, lemon curd, english toffee, sausage casserole and more. I was lucky and got to be taught so many of these recipes. Just last night my cousins descended upon me when they found out I knew how to make Yorkshire puddings. For any of you that haven’t had one you may not understand what is so good about them. After all, they are just a very simple food made out of flour, milk and eggs. The best part of them was that they would have this wonderful hole at the top that you could fill up with gravy. It was so much fun to fill it to the top with gravy and then cut it open to have gravy spill all over your plate. Needless to say there was never enough gravy to go around.
To my dying day I will debate with anyone that says they make the best banana bread because I know that just isn’t possible. My grandma’s banana bread is the best I have ever had. Other banana breads just don’t have enough banana flavor. Most other recipes only use one banana and Mimi’s recipe uses three. It’s like magic that that many bananas can be in one loaf of bread.
I was lucky to have her around to teach me most of her recipes. One that I never was able to get right was her English toffee. I tried making it one time and it never hardened like it was supposed to. She just told me that the weather must not have been right for making it that day. I’m not sure if that is true, but I will have to try to perfect it now that she no longer around to make it for us.
One of Mimi’s favorite things was to tell a good story, whether it was based in truth or not. Once when her sister Elva was in town visiting Mimi and my dad went out to run some errands. I guess they took a little longer than she expected, because she asked my dad what they should tell Elva as to why they were gone so long. She suggested that they tell her there had been some horrible accident and she went into great detail coming up with details of this alleged accident. My dad asked her: “Why don’t we just tell her the truth and let her know we were stuck in traffic.” Mimi’s reply was: “Well that’s boring.”
Another example of the fact that Mimi loved to exaggerate goes back to what I was telling you about the fact that she spent time on Alcatraz. This time she didn’t have to come up with any details. She preferred to let each person imagine the situation for themselves. For years she wouldn’t tell me why she was on Alcatraz. The only information I had was that it was only used as a prison and that my grandma had been on the island for a few months. I was left to believe that my grandma had once been a criminal. The fact of the matter was that she had been there as a nanny for one of the guards and his wife. She did have some excitement during her time on Alcatraz. Once a prisoner escaped and was heading toward the house she was staying at. She was out hanging clothes and didn’t get the call telling her to go inside and lock the doors. Luckily they caught the guy before he got to where she was.
Every person here could probably tell you many stories about the wonderful woman whose life we are here to celebrate. She has touched each of our lives’ in some way and we are better people for having known her. As much as we may miss her and may be sad for ourselves that we will no longer have the pleasure of seeing her in this life, we shouldn’t be sad for her. She lived a good life and she loved much. She was faithful to what her father in heaven wanted her to do. I know she is so excited to be with her husband again after an absence of over 35 years. Before we know it we will be seeing her again. Until then all we can do is cherish the memories we have of her and thank God that we were able to have her in our life.
