Took a Test

Not pregnant.  I just want to curl up in a ball and avoid work today.  I'm sure my period will start today to add insult to injury.  Hopefully work will be a good distraction so I don't end up crying the whole day.

IUI - The Whole Story

This last Thursday was our IUI.  I didn't go into work that day so I should have been able to sleep in.  That didn't happen though.  I woke up before 6 and wasn't able to get back to sleep.  Some time around 8:30 Soren and I went to Home Depot to pick up some attachments for the shop vac.  We were there a lot longer than I expected so by the time we got home it was pretty much time for me to leave to take the sample to the clinic.  The only problem was we didn't have a sample yet.

Once I had the sample safely nestled between my boobies I sped off to the clinic.  I was very impatient with the other drivers on the road and couldn't understand why they couldn't either drive a decent speed or GET OUT OF MY WAY.  They didn't seem to mind that I was a little bit late at the clinic.  They probably don't want to hassle us crazy infertile women because they know we could easily blow up at them. ;)

They put a little blue sticker with my medical record number on the top of the sample cup and gave me a matching blue sticker so that they could make sure the sample didn't get mixed up.  Then they told me to come back in a hour.  Then commenced the long period of time where I tried not to think about how nervous I was or the fact that this IUI might not work.

When I came back in the receptionist just had me take a seat.  It was very quiet in the waiting room filled with other women there for infertility treatments.  I found it weird that we were all going through the same thing and yet no one was talking to anyone around them.  I guess I could have talked to someone, but everyone looked like they would bite me if I tried.

When they took me back in the room they showed me the sample all washed and concentrated in the little catheter syringe thingy.  They also double checked the color of my sticker to make sure it matched.  Then I was left to get undressed.  I hate waiting in the room half naked with your butt uncovered so I tried to wrap the drape they gave me around my backside.

I different RE in the practice came in to do the IUI.  I was kind of disappointed that it wasn't my RE doing the IUI.  She told me that my husband's sample looked really good.  She didn't tell me what the count was because she said they didn't do a full analysis.  She was surprised that I had ovulated on 50 mg of clomid.  I explained that I always ovulated on my own and that our issue seemed to be due to my husband's sperm count.

She wasn't very gentle putting in the catheter, but I survived.  She apologized and told me that it wasn't graceful, but that the little swimmers were placed exactly where they needed to be and that there was no going back now.  It made me think about Soren's comment about not being able to put the genie back in the bottle once you were pregnant.  It was a really quick procedure and the doctor told me she hoped she had gotten me pregnant before she left the room. I was then instructed to lay there for at least 10 minutes and call for help if I had any negative side effects.  The only side effect I had was that my abdomen was really sore.  This soreness lasted 2 days.

When I left the clinic I was told to call them and let them know if I ended up pregnant.  Nothing else was said besides that.  I really would have thought that there would have been a little more discussion of follow up, but oh well.

So, now its been 5 days and I have about another week to wait before I know if it worked.  I'm trying not to think about too much but that is pretty impossible.  I just hope that the time until next week continues to go by quickly and that my period will take a vacation for at least 9 months.

Mindy Gledhill - Anchor

I wanted to share one of my new favorite songs. I actually just found out about this artist. I absolutely love her album that just came out. This song is especially good.

Waiting Game

I'm sitting in the parking lot of the fertility clinic trying to read and wait for them to process Soren's sample.  They told me to come back in an hour.  It was going to go to the mall because it's nearby, but then I decided that wasn't a good idea because I'm so nervous that I would probably either buy a bunch of stuff or eat way too much at the food court. I still have a little over half an hour to wait for my insemination.  I'm really freaking out and thinking this probably isn't going to work.

The whole time I was driving to the clinic I was thinking about the fact that I was carrying our chance for a baby between my boobs.  I'm not sure what kind of volume is good for a sperm sample, but it just seemed so little in the huge sample cup.  I was so paranoid about keeping it the right temperature that I turned off the a/c, but then I was worried about it being too hot in the car so I turned the a/c on and just pointed it up at the ceiling so it wouldn't be directly on the sample cup.  I know I was obsessing, but I just couldn't help myself because I want this to work.

I'm going to try to stop thinking about all of this now and just enjoy my book.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone

This is it. Wish me luck.

I got a positive OPK (ovulation predictor kit) this afternoon so I have set up an appointment for tomorrow to go in and do the IUI.  I'm so excited and cautiously hopeful.  The only bad thing is that they can't fit me in until 11:00, so I'm going to have to miss a whole day of work.  I guess I could go in for the afternoon, but since I didn't get a chance to tell my supervisor I have to go to an appointment it is probably just better to call in sick.

I really hope that this works!

Awkward Situations

This morning I told Soren that we would be doing the IUI sometime later this week just so he would be prepared for when it happens.  Nothing came of this conversation until we were having dinner at his mom's house tonight.

There we were sitting at the dinner table with his mom, grandma, our sister-in-law and 2 nephews when Soren says: "Hey mom, Julie has some good news she wants to tell you."  I had no clue what he was talking about so I asked him what he meant.  Then he says: "You know, what we are going to be doing this weekend."  It took me a few seconds to realize he was talking about the IUI.  I told him that I didn't have anything I wanted to announce.  Then, he kept asking me if I was sure.  I had to tell him 3 or 4 times that I was sure before he stopped bugging me.  I was so embarrassed that I must have been bright red.

On the drive home I asked him why he felt he needed to let everyone know that we are doing the IUI.  He responded that he thought they should be prepared for me being pregnant.  I'm glad he is so optimistic but I explained that it may not work and that I would be upset enough without everyone asking how it went.  I also told him that I didn't mind his mom knowing about it (in fact I already told her we were going to do an IUI this cycle), but I wasn't comfortable discussing it in front of everyone.  To end the conversation I told him that we should wait to prepare people for me being pregnant when it actually happens.

I can't believe that he put me in such an uncomfortable situation.  I'll get over it, but I'm a little upset at him right now.

Ultrasound for Soren

Soren went to the urologist last week where they were supposed to find out if he has varicocele (varicose vein in the scrotum).  They just felt him up and told him they didn't feel anything and that he would need to go to radiology for an ultrasound.  Seriously, couldn't they have scheduled that before since it was the whole purpose of the appointment.  Anyway, he went to radiology this morning and had an ultrasound done of his junk.  Poor guy!  I so appreciate that he is doing all this so we have a chance of getting pregnant. He really has been such a good sport.

The ultrasound showed that he doesn't have a varicocele so who knows the reason for his low sperm count.  I'm thinking that it may have something to do with his low testosterone levels.  We'll see what the doctor says when we talk to him again.

For now we are on track for the IUI (intra-uterine insemination).  I took my last clomid pill tonight and in another two days I will start using OPKs.  In just over a week we will be doing the procedure.  I really hope that everything goes perfectly.

I spoke too soon

You know how I said that I wasn't having any side effects from the clomid.  Well, I should have kept my big mouth shut because today has been hot flash city.  I was in a meeting this morning and I was fanning myself for most of it because I was so hot.  This afternoon my dad commented that I looked really red at one point.  I told him that it was because I was having a hot flash right then.  I guess the hot flashes haven't been horible or anything.  I don't have the desire to strip off all my clothes at least. ;)  I keep telling myself that at least this will only be for a few more days.

Bring on the Clomid

I'm on my third day of taking clomid and so far there are no noticeable side effects.  I'm not sure if it isn't doing anything or if I am just lucky.  I guess I'll see what the next few days bring.

I'm so anxious/excited about this cycle.  This is going to be the first real chance we've had at me getting pregnant.  I'm really hoping for a miracle.  I don't know anyone who has actually gotten pregnant from IUI so I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much.

I have decided that if this cycle doesn't work then I'm going to reward myself with another IUI cycle once I lose 20 pounds.  I will have to reward myself after 10 lbs with something like a pedi.

Well, I just wanted to pop in and give an update.  I think I'll go exercise for once this week.