Strawberries in November?

This has been such a wacky year for gardening. I have yet to pull out my garden and winterize the area because it is still producing. Just today I picked some cherry tomatoes, Anaheim peppers, zucchini and strawberries.

Here is a picture of my strawberry haul. Some didn't make it into the picture because I was eating as I picked.

Profound Thoughts

I'm sure we've all had moments when we are listening to something and someone says something that completely hits home. I don't know if it is the way they say it that makes the difference or if is just because we having been thinking about a certain subject and that person opens their mouth and gives an answer to our prayers. It's probably a combination of the two.

I was up late on Saturday night after I wrote my last post and was listening to a Christian radio station through Dish Network. There was a program called "music and the spoken word" that was playing. During this program they will have someone share a brief thought and then the choir will sing a song related to what was just being mentioned.

The conductor of the program shared a story about three women who were talking. Two of the women were going on and on about all of their children's achievements. The third woman didn't have anything wonderful to share about her child, but was genuinely happy for the other two women. Afterwards she was asked how she took the successes of these other people so well when she didn't have any successes of her own to share. She simply said: "It's much easier to celebrate than compete."

The conductor then went on to share that "Victories for others don't mean failures for us." For some reason this one line really seemed profound to me. Looking back this seems really obvious, but I think I needed a reminder that I can be genuinely happy for people and that I need to stop comparing myself to others so much.

Who cares if other people seem to have things that I want but don't have. I need to forget myself more and be more willing to praise other people's achievements. You can all be my witness that here and now I am recommitting myself to banishing the green-eyed monster that lives inside me.

Truth About Trying

I found out about Redbook's "Truth about trying" campaign through a friend's blog. (Click on the title of my post to be linked with Redbook's website.)The goal of the campaign is to end the secrecy and shame connected with infertility. They are encouraging women to make short videos about their struggles with infertility so that those of us dealing with infertility don't feel so alone and those who are not can be more educated about what 1 in 8 women are experiencing.

This is a very worthy campaign and I am so glad they are doing it, but I can't be a part of it right now. I'm in a place in my life right now where I'm trying not to be defined by my inability to have children and thinking about infertility is bringing everything front and center. I know that ignoring the issue isn't going to solve anything, but I can't fix the problem right now so why focus on it.

I watched some of the videos and felt extremely depressed afterwards. I know this isn't the point of the campaign. The whole point is to let people know they aren't alone and give them hope. It just breaks my heart that so many women deal with infertility. It also breaks my heart that no matter what else I try to do in my life I will never escape the fact that I have no control over making my desire to have children become a reality.

Since this subject is extremely depressing I'm going to stop talking about it now. I promise that my next post will be more upbeat.

Time to give an update

This is going to be short because I don't really feel like posting. I just thought I should let you know I'm still alive. I have been feeling pretty crappy the last few weeks and have had almost no energy. I wonder if I have a parasite or something. ;)

Most things are pretty much the same. I haven't lost any more weight, but at least I haven't gained any back either.

The only thing new is that I will no longer be teaching the Sunbeams at church (3 and 4 year olds for those of you who are not familiar with what I'm talking about). I'm so excited! I was literally counting down the weeks until the end of the year. It was so trying on my patience and most Sundays I would come home ready to cry because I was so frustrated. I will now be the Second Counselor in the Young Women's Presidency. I'm excited for this new calling with the 12 and 13 year old girls and I'm hoping that I'll be able to come up with a lot of fun activities for us to do together.

We have a plan

I was watching a friend's son today and their house and had my hubby come over for a visit after he got off work. We were sitting on the couch talking about a lot of different things and the conversation turned to having kids. (I would like to add that I'm not the one who brought it up.)

I mentioned that fact that I can't believe I'm going to be 29 on Monday and that I feel like I should still be in my early 20's. Soren's response was that he can feel my biological clock ticking (this was not said in a rude way whatsoever). He went on to say that when we were married I was almost 24 and he thought we had plenty of time and now he realizes that time is slipping away from us.

We agreed that we are going to try IUI (intrauterine insemination) this January, March and May. Hopefully one of the times will work.

Until then we are going to both continue to focus on losing weight. Soren has lost over 10 pounds so far and I have lost 7. I would like to lose at least another 30lbs by the end of the year. That would be a 1 1/2 pounds a week for me which seems do-able, but we'll see if my body cooperates.

Review of "Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother"

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


I have to give Amy Chua credit for being so honest with the reader about how she chose to raise her daughters when she realized that the "Western" style of parenting is so different from the "Chinese" style and that her views would not be popular. I don't agree with her polarized view of parenting that there is one right way and I would have thought that she would admit this fact by the end of the book, but she never did. By her own admission this book started out being about how  "Chinese parents are better at raising kids than Western ones. But instead, it's about a bitter clash of cultures, a fleeting taste of glory, and how [she] was humbled by a thirteen-year-old." In the end it would have been nice to see her admit that maybe her intensity in following the Chinese model was a bit over the top and that some moderation in parenting styles would have been good.



After hearing such an uproar in the media about this book I expected that I wouldn't enjoy it as much as I did. I went into the book thinking it might be something that I just half-heatedly scanned to get the gist of. I was glued to the page through out the whole thing. There were some parts that I completely agreed with and others that horrified me. 



It really seemed to me that she was much more strict with her daughters than her own Chinese parents were with her. I think this came from a fear that her daughters would be spoiled by America, become lazy, self entitled, and have no future. In her book she included a whole chapter on generational decline and how it is one of her greatest fears. Here is how she explained it:



"The immigrant generation is the hardest working. Often they will start off in the U.S. penniless, but they will work nonstop until they become successful engineers, scientists, doctors... As parents they will be extremely strict and rabidly thrifty. Everything they do and earn will go toward their children's education and future."



"The next generation, the first to be born in America, will typically be high-achieving. They will usually play the piano and/or the violin. They will attend Ivy League or Top Ten university. They will tend to be professionals - lawyers, doctors, bankers, television anchors - and will surpass their parents in income... They will be less frugal than their parents. They will not be as strict with their children as their parents were with them"



The third generation (the author's daughters) "will be born into the great comforts of the upper middle class. Even as children they will own many hardcover books (an almost criminal luxury from the point of view of immigrant parents). They will have wealthy friends who get paid for B-pluses. They will expect expensive, name brand clothes. Finally and probably, they will feel that they have individual rights guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution and therefore be much more likely to disobey their parents and ignore career advise. In short, all factors point to this generation being headed straight for decline."



The author declares: WELL, NOT ON MY WATCH!



This unfortunately resulted in her not letting her daughters have any freedom or even have the ability to play and enjoy any part of childhood. From the moment they were born she was training them to be perfect, high achieving automatons.



I will admit that there are several things about main-stream parenting in America that annoy the crap out of me. I hate how so many parents make excuses for their children. "Oh, they don't know any better. They're just a little kid." No, they don't know any better because you haven't taught them any better. I also hate how there is absolutely no respect for teachers or other figures of authority. If a parent has an issue with their child's teacher I feel it shouldn't be discussed in front of the child. Unfortunately too many children see the authority of their teachers being undermined by their parents.



I will agree with the author that I don't feel that parents should be so worried about being their children's friend. It is inevitable that sometimes your kids are not going to like you. This is part of being a good parent because they won't always know what is best for them (or like what is best for them). I disagree with the fact that she seems to believe that children should be given no choices in life. I feel that children should gradually be given more and more choices in their life. Obviously, you aren't going to give your baby any choices in life since you have to do everything for them, but a teenager should have the ability to help make some decisions.



Overall, I feel the biggest tragedy (and irony) is that she treats her students better than her own children. In the book her daughters commented to her: "You're so nice to your students. They have no idea what you're really like. They all think you're nurturing and supportive." What's worse is that she freely admits this is true. "The girls are actually right about that. I treat my law students (especially the ones with strict Asian parents) the exact opposite of the way I treat my kids." 









View all my reviews

Family Reunion

This last weekend we had a major family reunion on my dad's side of the family. It included all the family since my great-grandparents came to the U.S. from England 100 years ago.They had 8 children including my grandmother. One of my dad's cousins did a tally and there are over 400 descendents. We had about 200 at the reunion. I knew very few people, but was excited to see the people I do know. 

I was most excited about seeing my cousin Julia (she is really the daughter of my dad's cousin and I'm not sure of the exact title of how we're related so I just say she is my cousin). We are two months apart in age and we met when we were 6. Since then we have been really good friends. It is amazing how sometimes we will go years without seeing each other, yet we still get along so well. I flew out to Utah for her wedding and she came out to California for mine. I love her to pieces and she is one of the best friends I could ask for.

It was a great weekend, but I'm glad to be home in my own bed again. We drove all day on Thursday, were there for 2 days and then drove back on Sunday. 

Busy Day

I wish there were more hours in the day. There never seems to be enough time to get everything done. I was busy all day and still have so much to do around the house. I scrubbed every inch of our bathroom, washed and folded/hung up six loads of laundry, vacuumed, cleaned the kitchen and went grocery shopping. I'm proud of how much I accomplished, but wish I could have done more. Our house is still so messy.

Next on the list of things to do is restock the pantry now that the shelves are done.

Any one have any suggestions on how to delegate some of the chores? I have made a chore list, but no one follows it. Maybe we will have to have a new rule that there is no TV until chores are done. I hate to treat adults like children, but I'm not sure what else to do.

What I've been up to

I know I have been MIA for quite a while now. I'm fine. I just haven't really felt like posting lately. I have been reading everyone's blog though.

The biggest thing I have been working on is crocheting baby afghans for my co-worker who's wife is having twins (A boy and a girl). I just finished the blankets and thought I'd share pictures. Enjoy!

Vegas baby

We just got back from a trip to Vegas and boy did I enjoy myself. It was my first time there, but I'm sure it won't be the last. I will update with details and pictures soon.

Mom for a day

I love watching other people's kids. Every few weeks I watch my niece and I completely love it. I had her with me today.  We had to go out to do and do a couple errands. People always think she is mine when I take her out and I usually correct them and let them know she is my niece. Today I just let them think she was my baby and it felt good to let myself be a mom even if it was only for a couple of minutes.

Here is a picture I took of the little cutie. She is such a character. I just love her and feel so blessed to have her in my life.

Cleaning out the garage

It fascinating what you can come across when you are cleaning out the garage. We were recently going through some old boxes of my grandparent's.  In one of the boxes were a bunch of books. One of the books peaked my interest for purely anthropological reasons. It is titled: "Sex Life in Marriage" and was written in 1946 by Oliver Butterfield, PhD.

It is obvious that this subject was somewhat taboo because in the very beginning of the book the author cites Federal court decisions regarding sex education.  Federal Judge Augustus N Hand said: "The theory that information about sex matters should be left to chance has greatly changed... It may reasonably be thought that accurate information, rather than mystery and curiosity, is better in the long run."

Can you even imagine a court case about whether a sex book would be allowed nowadays?  There are so many books about sex now that it ridiculous.

I haven't read the book, but I find it very interesting to see how differently sex was looked at back then just by looking at the table of contents. It is also interesting to see how many of the topics touched upon are still relevant today.

Here are some of topics: Sexual Attitudes and Emotions, The Technique of Sexual Intercourse, Frequency of Intercourse, Children (and for those of my IF friends there is a section on infertility), and Overcoming Sexual Maladjustment.

Most of you probably don't care about my little discovery, but I thought it was interesting and wanted to share it.

Lovin My Nook

Almost 2 weeks ago Soren bought me a Nook.  I had been wanting one for a while, but kept telling myself that there was no point in buying one until I finished the big pile of books I have lying around. I am totally loving it and take it everywhere with me. In the last week and a half I have already read 3 books. I'm a total Nook addict. ;)

My very first blog award

I'm a little late getting to this post since Angie let me know last Wednesday that she had awarded it to me. All I can say for myself is that I have been busy taking care of my hubby that just had his wisdom teeth out.

Thank you so much Angie for nominating me! You can find her at Random Thoughts from Angie .

Here are the rules for accepting this award:

1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you the award.

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Award 15 other bloggers (I'm lowering this to 5 for future people. 15 is just way too many.).

4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.


So here are seven things about me:

1. I love having things organized. I actually printed out labels for our pantry when I was a teenager so that everyone would now exactly where to put things. I was so tired of everyone putting things in random places and having to hunt for them.

2. I'm a perfectionist.  This kind of goes along with the first thing I listed. Since it is so rare that I can get things perfect sometimes I don't even try and things can get really messy.

3. I love to bake.  Now I just need to be better about not eating the things I bake so that I will be able to lose weight. Thank goodness for being able to share food with co-workers.

4. I love digging in the dirt, but I also hate being dirty. (I know this may seem contradictory.) I really like gardening but as soon as I'm done I go straight to the sink to wash all the dirt off my hands.  (I can't wait for spring so I can start my vegetable garden.)

5. I am rekindling my love of crocheting. My most recent project is two baby afghans for one of my co-workers that is going to be the proud dad of twins in a few months.

6. I have never been outside the U.S. Even when we lived an hour from the Canadian border we never took the time to make the trip.  I know, it's pathetic.

7. I love to read.  I have a such a huge list of books that I want to read that it will probably be a year or two before I get through it. 

I nominate... (drum roll please):

Robin
Sherry
Jayme
^J^
Lindsay Logic
Sweet Pea
Jennifer
M
Jen
Andrea
Melinda
Pierson Family
Holly
Anna
Megan

Loving the Weather

It has been sunny and in the 60's during the day. This is so weird for January, but I'm not complaining. It has been feeling so great to go outside and feel the warmth of the sun.  I LOVE living in California. It's only January and I'm about ready to bust out the spring wardrobe. I would really love to buy some cute new clothes, but I have made an agreement with myself that I only get to buy new clothes if they are a smaller size.

On that note: I went to the gym tonight for the first time in weeks.  It seemed like I was sick for over a month straight. I'm going to have to get back in the habit now.