Sock It to Me!

Some of you may know that it is "Sock It To Me" Week. About a month ago I signed up on Kym's blog. The whole idea of S.I.T.M. week is to show support for all the women we know in the Infertility community. This takes the form of being assigned one person to send a pair of socks to.

Here's the description Kym gives:
The warmth you feel from your bloggy support is a warm and fuzzy pair of snuggly socks. Take the support with you for a trip to the stirrups. Wear them when you're chasing around your battle-won little person. Put them on when you have something to celebrate or when you need a hug. Wear them as a physical reminder of all the people inside your computer who you know care for and are thinking of you.

I received my package late last week. I have to call it a package and not just a pair of socks because the person picked to send socks to me went way above and beyond. She sent me two pairs of socks, some slippers, a little massager thingy, a kit to give myself a pedi, a game, and a little keychain flashlight. Thank you Shannon, you rock! Here is a picture of all the loot I scored:

I will definitely be wearing a pair of my new socks to my HSG appt this Friday. I won't have anyone there physically to supprt me, but it means a lot to know that I have a bunch of women in cyberland who care about me and are rooting for me. I don't know what I would have done the last few years without the support of all the wonderful women I have met online. I have wonderful people around me that love and care about me, but none of them truly know what infertility is like. (I wouldn't wish it on them and am glad that they are able to have kids.)

The best part of the S.I.T.M. exchange is that I was sent a package by someone from Chicago. I loved my time in Chicago and would go back there in a heartbeat. I miss that city so much. It was so cool to feel some sort of connection to the windy city again. Thanks again Shannon. (I read the story about you looking for candy on Halsted and it cracked me up. I used to live a block away from Halsted.)

Second Round of Test Results

I went back in on Friday as I was instructed to do and had my blood sugar and prolactin levels re-tested. This time they both came back in the normal range. My blood sugar was still on the high side of normal, but normal nonetheless. My prolactin came back right in the middle of the normal range. I guess the nurse was right and my levels were elevated due to where I was in my cycle.

One thing that kind of freaked me out when I first saw it was they also checked my hemoglobin. They didn't tell me they were going to check that and when I looked into what the test is for all the results came back with managing diabetes. I guess I will just have to wait to talk to the nurse again and see what she says. I'm pretty sure I don't have diabetes, but maybe I need to take better care of myself to make sure I don't end up with diabetes.

All of this testing is fun, not!

Anxiety Attacks

I am generally an upbeat and happy person. One of my friends has nicknamed me Sunshine because he says I'm always happy and smiling. I have always thought of myself as an optimistic person. However, lately something has got me down and I'm not even really sure of what is going on.

When I examine my life there is definitely some stress, but nothing that should be that big of a deal. For the last few weeks I have been having anxiety attacks before I go to work. I will be fine and then an hour or so before work I start to have anxiety. Today I was crying uncontrollably. I ended up not going into work since I was such a mess. My eyes are still hurting from all the crying I did.

I have made an appointment with a counselor to try and figure out what my issues are. Life is good in general, but no amount of telling myself that I have nothing to be upset about seems to be working.

On a much happier note: I am now in control of my emotions again. I have been listening to some instrumental music which the mental health center at my hospital suggests that I do. It seems to be helping. A lady I know from church also came over and we went for a long walk around the neighborhood.

I'm not sure what is wrong with me, but I definitely want this craziness to stop. I can't live life like this any longer.

This brings me to the fact that my wonderful friend Dot has posted on her blog about ten things that make her happy. She then passed on the assignment to ten other people, of which I am one. Dot, you are a dear sweet lady and you couldn't have picked a better day to ask me to do this. I definitely need to focus on what makes me happy rather than what is making me sad.

So here is my list of ten things:

1. My husband ~ he is so loving and supportive.
2. Friends and family ~ especially my dad that put up with me calling him while I was bawling and who helped me calm down a little.
3. The sun ~ I love how warm and comforting it is. I definitely missed the warmth of the California sun when we lived in North Dakota.
4. A good book ~ always helps to escape from reality once in a while.
5. Growing things ~ I have come to realize that I find immense joy in planting things and seeing the fruits of my labor. I am so excited to plant my vegetable garden.
6. Music ~ there is nothing that touches my soul like good music can. Music is able to express every emotion that we as people can feel.
7. Hugs ~ there is nothing like a good tight squeeze from someone to know that they care or to show them you care.
8. Making food for people
9. Going for walks ~ I love being outside. It always refreshes me.
10. Getting things done ~ I love the sense of accomplishment that comes from working hard and knowing you did a good job. I weeded my vegetable planter the other day and it was hard work, but it felt so good to know I got something done.

Okay, so here are ten people I'm passing this along to:
1. Misty
2. Steph
3. Jayme
4-6. Jenn (all three of the ones I know)
7. Megan
8. Andrea
9. Melinda
10. Gabsy

Busy Day

I talked to a nurse from the fertility clinic today and went over my test results. As I told you all before, my blood sugar and prolactin levels were a little high. She said this could be due to where I was in my cycle and that they want me to redo these two tests a couple of days into my next cycle. So, I will go back in for more blood work the end of this week most likely. We will see what they will do if the tests still come back high.

Soren hasn't gone into do his tests yet. He was going to go in this morning, but he wasn't feeling well. I guess we will just have to continue to wait to see how his side of the equation is.

Other than that stuff, today has been a busy day. It is one of my days off and so I have been trying to get a bunch of stuff done around the house. I took one of the dogs to the vet. There were a bunch of different calls I had to make about different things. I also sprayed all the weeds in the backyard with Round Up. This ended up being pretty much the whole yard since we don't have grass back there right now. We are killing the weeds, then in a week we will rototill and dig trenches for a sprinkler system. Then we will wait another week and if the weeds come back we will kill them again. After that we will put down grass seed. Hopefully in about a month we will start to have some grass sprouting in the backyard. We are going to have to put a fence up preventing the dogs from running around on most of the yard while we try to grow the grass. I'm sure they won't be happy about only being able to go on the deck and side yard.

I have also started planning my vegetable garden. I planted tomatoes, bell peppers, and green onions about a week ago in the seed starting trays. In about another 6-8 weeks I will be able to transfer them into the garden outside. I'm being very ambitious this year on what we are going to grow. We will have 4 different types of tomatoes, bell peppers, jalapenos, baby carrots, green onions, 2 types of beans, peas, 3 different types of lettuce, strawberries, zucchini, 3 types of melons, etc. I plan to be eating a lot of fresh produce this spring and summer. Anyone that lives close to me will probably be given a ton of food.

Well, I better get back to my chore list for the day. I still have to make one more call, go grocery shopping, do laundry and dishes, then start something for dinner. So much for today being a day off to relax.

The Test Results are Pouring In

As I told you yesterday, I went and had bloodwork done. Most of the test results are back. Most everything is in the normal range. My fasting glucose (blood sugar) was a tiny bit high. I had it tested a couple of months ago and it was normal then so I'm not too worried. My progesterone level was 13.1 which seems pretty good. I found that it supposed to be 2-25 ng/mL at this point in my cycle.

The one thing I am worried about is that my prolactin levels came back high. The normal range is 3-30 ng/mL and I came back with 47. I found out that prolactin is usually high in pregnant and breast feeding women. I'm definitely not in either of those categories, so I'm worried that my test result was so much higher than what is normal. Maybe my body thinks it's not suppose to get pregnant right now and that's why I haven't been able to. I guess I will just have to wait and see what the doctor says about my results.