Anxiety Attacks

I am generally an upbeat and happy person. One of my friends has nicknamed me Sunshine because he says I'm always happy and smiling. I have always thought of myself as an optimistic person. However, lately something has got me down and I'm not even really sure of what is going on.

When I examine my life there is definitely some stress, but nothing that should be that big of a deal. For the last few weeks I have been having anxiety attacks before I go to work. I will be fine and then an hour or so before work I start to have anxiety. Today I was crying uncontrollably. I ended up not going into work since I was such a mess. My eyes are still hurting from all the crying I did.

I have made an appointment with a counselor to try and figure out what my issues are. Life is good in general, but no amount of telling myself that I have nothing to be upset about seems to be working.

On a much happier note: I am now in control of my emotions again. I have been listening to some instrumental music which the mental health center at my hospital suggests that I do. It seems to be helping. A lady I know from church also came over and we went for a long walk around the neighborhood.

I'm not sure what is wrong with me, but I definitely want this craziness to stop. I can't live life like this any longer.

This brings me to the fact that my wonderful friend Dot has posted on her blog about ten things that make her happy. She then passed on the assignment to ten other people, of which I am one. Dot, you are a dear sweet lady and you couldn't have picked a better day to ask me to do this. I definitely need to focus on what makes me happy rather than what is making me sad.

So here is my list of ten things:

1. My husband ~ he is so loving and supportive.
2. Friends and family ~ especially my dad that put up with me calling him while I was bawling and who helped me calm down a little.
3. The sun ~ I love how warm and comforting it is. I definitely missed the warmth of the California sun when we lived in North Dakota.
4. A good book ~ always helps to escape from reality once in a while.
5. Growing things ~ I have come to realize that I find immense joy in planting things and seeing the fruits of my labor. I am so excited to plant my vegetable garden.
6. Music ~ there is nothing that touches my soul like good music can. Music is able to express every emotion that we as people can feel.
7. Hugs ~ there is nothing like a good tight squeeze from someone to know that they care or to show them you care.
8. Making food for people
9. Going for walks ~ I love being outside. It always refreshes me.
10. Getting things done ~ I love the sense of accomplishment that comes from working hard and knowing you did a good job. I weeded my vegetable planter the other day and it was hard work, but it felt so good to know I got something done.

Okay, so here are ten people I'm passing this along to:
1. Misty
2. Steph
3. Jayme
4-6. Jenn (all three of the ones I know)
7. Megan
8. Andrea
9. Melinda
10. Gabsy